I was born in Sindh, the southern province of present-day Pakistan. A sensitive child who could feel the stress of everyone around me, but who hadn’t yet learned the right words to describe it. My first act of honoring that sensitivy was to become a vegetarian at the age of 5.

Like most people and seeds planted in un-cared for soil, with the poisons of economic and social pressures, I developed in a crooked way. I did my best at school and played as much as I could. But that sensitivity remained un-nurtured. And like every quality that is un-seen, un-expressed, and often supressed, its shadow grew stronger. I wondered, do they see what they’re doing to each other? Why don’t they express their love? How come anger and sadness get prioritized?

While I did well enough to go all the way to college, and well enough to compete in Taekwondo at national level, my internal world largely remained painfully internal to me. So after university, I quit sports and lost myself in work. Soon I got the option to move to Singapore with my company. That is where I took my workaholism to a whole new level. I was now living those questions I had as a child. I distracted myself from my sadness and anger and lack of answers by working more. Doing marathon work weeks and barely sleeping, proud to be able to do 16 hour days, I eventually burned out. Hello Insomnia, have you come to teach me something?

That was step 1 of my slow return to myself. I quit my job, found another, and started to slowly recover and sleep better. 2 years later, I moved to Berlin, Germany. In the 13 years since, I grew professionally to lead multiple teams at different companies, built two startups of my own, got back into competitive sports, and most recently made Somatic Coaching my profession. The relatively slower pace of Germany, the incredible greenery of Berlin, the luck of living close to the Spree river, and a wonderful partner did me good. But that’s not the whole story.

Around 10 years ago, thanks to all my exploits in sports, my ACL ligament tore and I needed surgery. The highlight of the surgery was me reading through “Coming to our senses” by Jon Kabat-Zinn. Soon after, I ended up in a mindfulness meditation class at Bodhicharya Buddhist temple in Berlin.

I was also lucky to receive Somatic Coaching sessions before and after surgery that undoubtedly expedited my recovery.

The meditation helped calm my mind, and the Buddhist teachings gave me a framework for seeing life: that everything in life is inter-dependent, and nothing remains the same.

These teachings would later help me make sense of my experiences with Ayahuasca. Among many other things, the plant teachers taught me that healing happens on many levels, but integration is truly embodied. This put my Yoga practice in perspective.

Over time, every small step and every new learning kept pointing to the same simple truths: life is not something to be figured out, happiness is not something to be chased, success is not defined by accumulation of resources or power. To come alive, to live, is to experience life with all of its colors and flavors given to you. This experience is best when shared, and if you truly care it makes sense to develop the skills to live and share well.

That’s when I finally came to Pantarei Approach as my chosen form of service. This is where everything I learnt from Mindfulness, Buddhism, Jungian Psychology, Yoga, Plant medicine, Leadership and work ethic, Sports, and Animism comes together with that old sensitivity and curiosity about people and all beings in this world.

In Pantarei Approach I could combine the best of my learnings to truly heal myself through the body without discounting the mind, and to embody the joy of gradual transformation towards wholeness, honoring what I already know, what I am still to learn, to not worry about everything I may never encounter, and to live fully, now.

This journey has now entered a new phase, as I now get to support my clients in doing the same.

Would you like me to accompany you, on your return to yourself?